Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

The following is a summary of winter league events over the last couple of months, provided by Dagga Ward:

The title of the best drawer has gone to Chris over-practice Downs. It had been noticed that on one match he had not drawn in an area where he had recently practiced. Since being mentioned alongside Nasty (Andy) Kind, Chris (hurtful) Downs has been very subdued when it has come to upsetting fellow anglers. The award for the nastiest Angler at this moment looks like going to Andy Kind.

A number of members were concerned over the netting policy in the Pretty Fish pond, it should be pointed out that Alan White was responsible, please direct all enquiries to him.

Alex Bones had a small tantrum in a recent match when Robber Marlow beat him. In an interview Robber Marlow conceded that he was beaten morally by Alex. I hope that makes him feel much better.

The title of Three Peg Ward looks in contention - at a recent event Scott Brown made full use of 100 yards of line on his reel to fish several vacant pegs alongside. In an interview Scott, in his defence, did point out that there was no one on the pegs where he cast, unlike Three Peg Ward.

We have a new match member who has done very well this season but has failed to get a mention in dispatches. His name is Paul Bates and due to his impressive performances his official title has been changed to Mr Bates.

Jeff Reece had to have some serious counselling the other week - Robber Marlow not only beat him with bait he had from him, he also cleaned and serviced his car during the match. There is no justice in winter fishing!

Bob Eaton has been very quiet so he will not be mentioned. The best icebreaker award looks like going to Ringo.

It has also been noted that John Duncan has weighed in on several occasions recently. Rumour has it that it has been a joint effort with his son. You will not see his son because he is invisible in his camouflaged suit.

Possibly the biggest felony was caused by Honest Jim Chessman, this man until now was incorruptible. Not any more, he convinced Kev Russell that he had not caught in a recent match, only to produce a couple of carp at the weigh in. Jim is possibly the longest running honest angler in the match scene, but he has finally joined the ranks of all the other liars.

That only leaves honest Roy and myself who you can trust for reliable information during a match. (Roy made me say that).