Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

Firstly after last week's report, which I was unable to compile, MPF would like to make it clear that unless our reports can be verified we do not print them in case of legal action. We often use an alias name to protect the innocent.

This week Santa came early to visit us, even though it was early December. More of that later. His first call was to Glebe pool 4 where there was a vast amount of toys neatly placed on the bank behind Nasty Kind's Peg. This week Team Abacus was depleted due to Gringo Clayton allegedly having Man-Flu, there were theories that he may have gone to a maths class to improve his counting skills.

ACE Downs was nowhere to be seen after last week's hurtful write up from Mr Ward. It was up to Team Abacus Captain Ward to sort the draw, he was not taking any chances this week and decided to be a one-man team regarding taking names and money to avoid any mishaps. Good idea but risky with no one else to blame if it went wrong!

On to the fishing. This week Bob had done a great job for me at the draw, pulling out last week's flier peg 20. I had stiff opposition in the section though and would have to try and count both Gordon Parker’s fish to my left and Steve Conway’s fish to my right. Gordon was hidden behind a little bush and I could only see his line tight across the fishery when he had a fish on. To make things even harder Steve was counting in twos, so for every two fish he caught he counted one. It became a really tight match with lots of fish caught in our section, mostly coming to straight lead tactics with corn or meat on the hook. We were unable to see or hear how the other sections were doing. It was later reported that on peg one there were many scattered toys. John Duncan, a reliable witness, reported that Mr Ward on peg one, was making many visits to the far bank area and guessed that Mr Ward was somehow retrieving the toys from there. He did add though that Mr Ward could have thrown them out of his pram as he was very unhappy having drawn another ‘pressure’ end peg. The section was very even, with close weights. Top spot went to Dave Colkin who did have an advantage according to Mr Ward ‘he spent most of the match pulling the far bank closer’, hurtful.

The middle section , also a very close match, was won by Gordon Priddey who had really struggled throughout the match for 81lb of fish! Our section was also won by the angler claiming to have caught only a few carp, Steve Conway had actually caught double what he had admitted and weighed 20 carp for 87lb, the top weight on pool 1.

Pool 1
Section 1
Peg 5 - Dave Colkin - 51lb
Peg 7 - John Palmer - 45lb
Peg 2 - John Duncan - 42lb

Section 2
Peg 17 - Gordon Priddey - 81lb
Peg 11 - Chris Hall - 73lb
Peg 14 - Chris Downs - 62lb

Section 3
Peg 21 - Steve Conway - 87lb
Peg 20 - Kev Russell - 82lb
Peg 18 - Gordon Parker 70lb

Reliable witnesses informed the sane parts of the match committee that there had been lots of toys thrown on to the far bank of pool 4. This didn't put off Bob Eaton opposite the toys, he amassed a weight of 90lb from peg 71. This was only just ahead of Brian Hill at peg 69 with 86lb.

Pool 4
Peg 71 - Bob Eaton - 90lb
Peg 69 - Brian Hill - 86lb
Peg 67 - Gary Ellott - 30lb

As the scales reached pool 5, it was made clear by reliable witnesses that Nasty Kind had thrown the toys out of his pram big style, even over on to pool 4. Apparently Nasty was chip shopped by in-form Gary Miller and out-of-form Robber Marlow pegged either side. Nasty could not handle the situation and it was a case of Ear Protectors having to be donned by the unfortunate anglers in the vicinity throughout the match. Gary took the win on the section helped by three large fish caught into the match, this was also responsible for AK's tantrum. Robber was back to form taking second from his first reasonable draw in the league.

Pool 5
Peg 83 - Gary Miller - 69lb
Peg 79 - Roy Marlow - 47lb
Peg 81 - Andy Kind - 39lb

There was only one end peg used on the bottom lakes, Albert Bray taking the win on pool 6 from the little girl's peg 86. Although not counting as an end peg Chris Allen was the last peg used on pool with 3 empty pegs to his left, Chris took an excellent weight from the unfancied peg 94, weighing 74lb, only a pound behind the winner.

Pool 6
Peg 86 - Albert Bray - 75lb
Peg 94 - Chris Allen - 74lb
Peg 92 - Carl Redman - 42lb

Gary Sadler took the win on pool seven from peg 103 with Carl Williams in second spot. Mr Ward commented that Pool 7 was a section full of stars, but he added 'some of the stars were not burning so bright after the battering he had handed out the previous week', hurtful.

Pool 7
Peg 103 - Gary Saddler - 55lb
Peg 105 - Carl Williams - 39lb
Peg 101 - Jim Chessman - 32lb

It turns out that Mr Ward was this week playing Santa has he paid out more money than was taken in. What a nice match organiser we have. This saved him telling everyone that he had cocked it all up again.

We have at least one person outside the club that reads Snide Rumours, the legendary Keith Arthur. Keith suggested that Team Abacus should be given a calculator, what a good idea, but we would still require someone to show them how to switch it on. The last quote of the day was from an anonymous member who was just being hurtful. If Paul Bolsover says anything else hurtful he will have to receive another yellow card. It was also noticed that Mr Bolsover was once again on an end peg and is getting close to replacing ‘Frog Pot’ Allen as the luckiest angler in the draw.

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