Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

Our winter league scheduled for Sunday 20th December was cancelled due to all of the lakes being frozen. However we did have two groups of elves turn up at the Glebe. The first group had planned to install the siphon pipes in preparation for our netting operations scheduled in for 4th and 5th January. These were worker elves. The other group were dippy elves led by our very own super star ACE Downs. Due to the strict laws on libel the report was not compiled by the match committee but by ACE himself. It was a day for men to go fishing that's why we had a depleted squad; it was too cold for the rest of the girlies.

Seven members who I can only describe as the Magnificent Seven broke the ice on Pretty Fish Pond and then it was heads down with a Christmas stocking full of money to be won. Our main concern was that we could finish up as the Depleted Six as Steve Conway has a habit of packing up early and filling the marquee with teddies and toys. The marquee already looks like Santa’s Grotto after the last two weeks of teddies and dummy throwing. It was also mentioned that if you drew the flier peg 1 on pool 1 you are expected to help weigh-in. I cannot mention who drew peg 1 last week and left in stealth mode before the final whistle. However his mate can mention him and Frog Pot Allen told us it was Steve Conway. With the pressure severely on Mr Conway he fished like a demon and caught a fish every drop in, in fact Dave Hunter commented that there was so much friction coming of Steve’s Pole that the ice melted in his peg. Steve fished like a leg end so much so that he looked like a blur at one time and had Frog Pot Allen mesmerized.

The final result was Dave Hunter 8lb 15oz, second myself (ACE) 5lb and third Ringo 3lb 15oz. Steve the blur Conway was still there at the weigh-in, which was an achievement. Frog Pot commented that it was the finest lesson in small fish catching he had ever seen. I will not exaggerate, but I reckon Steve caught 231 mainly small fish with no netters for a total weight of 3lb. I can see now why the Burton Lads always do well; it is because we are not girlies like the rest of the members.

The committee thought that that part should be edited out but because our very own ACE Downs verified it, it must be true.

Our other band of elves, Robber Roy, Kevsan Russelli, Jarrad ‘2 nets’ Smith, ‘Smug’ Bedder and Team Abacus captain Dagga Ward set about a few maintenance jobs around the fishery. Mr Ward's job was to repair the tractor in the Grotto, he was left to curse away all on his own. Robber said it would be his job as an adult to periodically check on him! Meanwhile the other worker elves made work of setting out the sleepers that would be positioned along the far bank of pool 5 opposite each peg. Jarrad ‘2 nets’ suggested that we should have only half a sleeper then he would be the only one good enough to cast in front of them. This was in line with what Chris ‘Jewboy’ Needham had suggested earlier in the week “Dagga will need at least three sleepers to cast in front of one”! Dagga did come down to look at the spacing for the end pegs as these are the ones he usually sits on.

The next job was to position and fit together many metres of pipes to drain pools 4 and 5 down to the eco ponds. This is very hard manual work. At this stage Roy decided to adopt the job of gopher (read 'go for'). A quick text to Scott Brown suggested that this was a very important job as there were usually cheese scones and soup to clear up in the cabin.

Mr Ward had successfully resurrected the tractor to nearly new condition so his next job was to tow the sleepers down from the cabin to pool 5. This was to be a task in itself as the sleepers had become hard frozen together. Mr Ward being a real welder quickly came up with a plan, he would urinate on the pile to free the sleepers. After successfully removing around five sleepers he became very dehydrated and was looking very frail as he tractored down this last sleeper. It turned out later that Robber had sat drinking coffee and soup and eating scones in the cabin watching the whole performance. Robber reappeared as the light was fading and congratulated everyone on a great team performance. We are sure much the same as Santa does with his little elves.

Kevsan Russelli added that there are matches on the 27th December , Wednesday 30th December and 3rd January, weather permitting, although he is sure the dippy elves will be breaking ice no matter what. The winter league group 2 will now be 3 from 4 to count due to the cancelled match.

Have a Great Christmas from your Match Committee and hope to see you at the netting in the New Year if not before.

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