Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

There has not been a lot to report these last few weeks. We have a new policy that is being vigorously enforced regarding content of Snide Rumours. Unless we can be absolutely certain that what is printed is honest and truthful we will not risk offending anyone whose name is mentioned. Also an alias name may have to be used to protect the innocent.

The away match team is full of ice creams mainly thanks to four-nets Dagga Ward. When it comes to estimating your catch before the weigh in, it is plainly obvious that Dagga must be a little bit dippy. On the last match he was over 40lbs out with his estimate on 130lbs. We all agree that he would be much better at selling ice creams, which he is. Our action cameraman caught him in his van selling ice creams, to think we all thought he repaired lawn mowers!

At the recent Premier/ Pure Fishing Final our local superstar, TV personality, sponsored, international and fish-o-mania finalist, locally known as Ace, was found in a daze at his peg after the weigh-in. We cannot mention his real name but it sounds like Chris Downs; he has had to have several days of counselling. If you draw next to him he will be trying very hard to make a comeback.

We believe Leicester’s Professional Angler is no longer taking performance enhancing substances; if he is they are not working. At a recent event on pool 1 he was chip-shopped (battered both sides) by Andy superstar Towers and Freddy Bennett. That is not important, his car is.

The car with the registration PSORTER must be something very special, very quickly after the weigh-in it was seen disappearing out of the complex in silent stealth mode. Driving it trying to put on a brave face was Mr S PORTER. The fourth edition of 'popular match fishing excuses' will soon be out, don’t miss it as there is always something new in it. Every copy will come free with a signed autograph.

We mentioned Andy Towers of Match Catch Fame. If you happen to draw next to him just make certain he is fishing the right peg as he was recently disqualified for fishing the wrong peg.

The Nasty Trophy has not yet been presented, however it will be soon. One of the nastiest comments was aimed at Rob Clayton who last year was awarded a citation for being the most improved angler when he did not come last in a fishing match. A comment this year from someone I cannot name but will be in line for the Nasty Trophy said 'if Rob wins the Nasty Trophy you can be certain it will be the only fishing trophy he will ever win', now that is extremely nasty.

There have been several nominations put forward to the committee regarding this prestigious award. As always there will be a secret vote and Robber Roy will decide who the winner is. Now that’s fair.

previous | next