Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

Several weeks ago we ran a story regarding 'drug testing'. This was instigated by the performance, or lack of it, of Leicester's Professional Angler, Mr Porter, whose name cannot be mentioned for legal reasons. The big question was should testing be mandatory. The away team committee is now considering the possibility as one of its members who again cannot be named, because he is on the committee, is involved.

Chain Saw, Mr Ice Cream Ward (alias name) is causing concern. A couple of weeks ago you may recall he estimated his weight for the honesty prize (you have to estimate your weight prior to the weigh-in) and was 40lbs out. We thought that that was a one-off caused by high pressure. This week it happened again Mr Ice Cream Ward estimated 60lb and actually weighed 40lb, now that is a serious miscalculation. He believes that someone or something removed some fish from his net, if any one could throw any light on this serious subject would they please contact the committee. We are not suggesting he is on drugs, in fact we feel that he may be getting his medication mixed up, rather like his weights. If you draw next to Mr Softy Ward can you keep a close eye on him? Yes, yet again he had to buy the ice creams, everyone thank him again.

A medallion has been commissioned; it is 'I have been battered by Rob Clayton'. If you are unfortunate enough to be battered on the peg next to Rob you will be presented with this medallion to proudly wear at the next match. The first name inscribed on this work of art is Dagga Ward, who was destroyed by Rob a couple of weeks ago. This wonderful work of art was commissioned by Nasty Kind in good faith in an effort to get some brownie points. This act may backfire, as he is one of the nominations for the Nasty Trophy award!!!

The winter league starts this week; reports will be posted after each event.

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