Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

Most of the Glebe lakes had a bit of ice on Saturday but a very strong southerly wind had cleared all of this for our Sunday match. A good turn-out of 40 anglers were at the draw for the match. Mr. Ward made a special announcement congratulating Mr. Paul Bates on his up and coming wedding/engagement to his long suffering partner later in the year, also inviting everyone in the process.

On to the fishing, this week I had been drawn on peg 84 on the wide end of pool 5. This could have been a good peg, but alas I almost failed to catch a fish, just managing to snare one 4lb carp. Young Jarrad made me have it at the next peg, catching 3 carp, but I must add that he had the help of 'Rodney rest' for two of these, I even had to shout him from the other end of the lake to come and wind one in as it was getting on my nerves watching his tip pulling round. It was his 17th birthday after all. The lake was won at the other end of the pool, on peg 77, by Rob Bowser with 6 fish for 24lb just edging out Jarrad who weighed 22lb. Steve Conway came in third with 3 fish for 16lb. Pool 4 was won by Dom Lanni with a really good catch of 73lb from peg 71. Mr. Ward was at the next peg and managed to catch a few for second, he will be glad that I have done this report early as it will save him having to ring me up to ask why.

Rob Bowser - top on pool 5

The first section on pool 1 really fished well, Burton superstar Chris Allen taking top spot from peg 5 with around 20 carp for 73lb, second was Paul Gardener on peg 4 with 64lb and Dave Hunter came in third just behind with 62lb from peg 2. Rich Bedder also had a good catch from fancied peg 1 weighing 53lb. In the middle section it was a different story. Bill Price took the well earned win with 20lb but there were a couple of casualties; league leader Gordon Parker and John Palmer both failed to even get a bite!! The end section saw Rob Harper just edge out Gary Sadler for first place with 11lb 7oz, our ACE angler Chris Downs came in third from end peg 30 with 8lb.

Down on pool 7, the peg ACE had used all his skill to catch from the previous week again came up trumps, this week it was the turn of Trev Slater who annihilated the section from peg 99 with 85lb, even though ACE had assured us at the draw that it wasn't full of fish. Pool 6 saw the return of tackle dealer John Hall, taking 44lb to win the section from peg 88, Kerry Dyson was second from the little girl's peg and 'angling legend' Bob Eaton came in third with 27lb from peg 90. Up at the far end of pool 6 there was a bit of skulduggery; Rob Clayton had noticed the previous week that Mr. Scott Brown was rather partial to a bit of cake and had brought along a rather large slice of Battenberg to divert Scott's attention from the fishing. This ploy failed though because although Scott wolfed down the cake it was Rob that failed to trouble the scales men.

And to the results:

Pool 1

Section 1
Chris Allen - 73lb - peg 5
Paul Gardener - 64lb - peg 4
Dave Hunter - 62lb - peg 2

Section 2
Bill Price - 20lb - peg 12
Ian Saiger - 9lb - peg 18
Max Higgot - 7lb - peg 11

Section 3
Rob Harper - 11lb 7oz - peg 28
Gary Sadler - 11lb - peg 22
Chris Downs - 8lb - peg 30

Pool 4
Dom Lanni - 73lb - peg 71
David Ward - 20lb - peg 72
Jim Chessman - 7lb - peg 69

Pool 5
Rob Bowser - 24lb - peg 77
Jarrad Smith - 22lb - peg 83
Steve Conway - 16lb - peg 79

Pool 6
John Hall - 44lb - peg 88
Kerry Dyson - 34lb - peg 86
Bob Eaton - 27lb - peg 90

Pool 7
Trev Slater - 84lb - peg 99
Chris Hall - 20lb - peg 102
Rob Hollis - 18lb - peg 103

And finally it is interesting to note that we still have a lot to report even though Robber Marlow has not been fishing. Mr Ward has asked me to report on the following.

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A CANAL EXPERT?

If so we have a professional in our camp that can help you. Again we have to print the disclaimer to protect the innocent and use alias names where practical.

It turns out that our very own Leicester's Professional Angler, non-other than Mr Sporter, is rapidly becoming a legend in canal competitions. He has pointed out on several occasions that he has mastered commercial fisheries and finds them rather easy. (Not so easy last time he sat next to young Jarrad at the Glebe and got a severe battering). Just recently his results have been outstanding, his last three results were 4oz, 6oz and an epic performance last week of 8oz. We understand that these weights consisted of mainly small fish.

Young Jarrad - second on pool 5

You may recall he had a private rig maker, well not anymore as the rigs were not deemed to be perfect. In Mr Sporter's tackle emporium we are reliably informed that he now has a balancing tank for shotting his floats, now that is impressive as most normal anglers would use a bottle or bucket full of water. 'You are wasting your time without a balancing tank', said L.P.A.

Floats are only part of his success story and odds on if you have been fishing bread punch all of your life you are doing it very wrong. All of this information has never been written before and is in a new book called 'My way to win on canals against the best' by Steve Porter L.P.A. The new book is at the publishers now and what a book it is, if you require an autographed copy you must order it now as countless thousands of copies takes a long time to sign.

Naturally as you would expect if you were competing at this level you will require a manager and Steve has acquired the services of the very best. We have been reliably informed that the services of Elaine (we cannot mention her last name other than to say she is associated with Steve Warner). L.P.A confides in Elaine, who is putting him right as it is claimed she has far more knowledge concerning canal fishing than anyone else.

Elaine says 'it is hard work trying to put him right, I frequently work with monkeys who are much easier to teach, also they never make excuses'.

In Steve's last big canal match he came a credible fourth, problem was that there were only 5 in the match. An Oadby tackle dealer came fifth and we asked for a quote. 'I threw a couple of fish back because I knew that a last place for Steve would have been far more than he could handle, he is a nice lad and if I upset him he will not spend any money in my shop'.

Mr Sporter has a lot of good friends who fish the canal circuit with him and always give him a lot of encouragement, the following quotes are from his mates:

Leicester's Porn Baron 'Steve's performances are getting much better, if he continues improving at this rate he may win his first 5 peg open in the year 2020 when the rest of us are blind.'

Son of Oadby Tackle Dealer, alias Rob 'I often give tips away in my articles and they have helped hundreds of anglers improve over the years, my best tip for Steve is 'don't waste your time''

Another friend that has a name like Bates said 'I like Steve because he tries, however he should try his luck at winning the lottery, at fourteen million-to-one he will have more chance than beating us.'

So, order the book now before it has a reprint; it is full of useless, sorry useful tips. Watch this space as the legend becomes a super leg end.

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