Mallory Park Fisheries - Snide Rumours & Dirty Lies

It was a much better weather to start to the day this week and after the usual breakfast at Mallory Park’s track side cafe it was up to the Glebe for the draw. Rob the Eel was booking-in secretary with Mr Ward doing the insults. Given that a few of the regulars were missing it was still a good turnout of 53 anglers. Rob had actually only managed to count 52 though, but after arguing his defence for around ten minutes realized he had forgot to count Robber in, blaming Roy for not getting his money out. A couple of notable absentees were Mr Scott Brown and ACE Chris Downs. Mr Ward suggested there may be a big pie eating contest in Melton Mowbray but Paul Bates had been out with Scott the night before and confirmed that Scott was still grounded on DIY duties.

The White Acres festival turned into a nightmare for MINKY Downs who came in at 141st. His fellow team mates are very concerned about him, Gary Saddler however leapt to his defence and suggested he should cut 4 inches off all of his pole joints. MINKY asked, ‘What good would that do’ Gary said ‘it will make it easier to fit your pole into the skip’ now that was very hurtful.

Gordon's lips are moving so he must be whinging about something

At the draw we also had the now monthly trophy presentation. Ian Saiger was up first to make his apologies for over filling his keep net and humbly took the trophy. Our whingers & moaners trophy was then awarded to global travelling pensioner Gordon Priddey. He protested his innocence much to the amusement of the other 52 anglers. He will be holding the trophy for a month but already there have been reports of who should receive it next month, more later.

On to the fishing. With the mild south westerly wind and warm sunshine the end pegs were looking good and were on everyone's wish list. Bob Eaton did my drawing and pulled me out peg 1. I was assured by Roy it was a good draw!! I did have a great match, more on that later.

Gary Miller

After 6 hours fishing in summer conditions we trekked up to peg 30 to weigh-in. Honest Jim Chessman was first to weigh but had struggled to keep the fish away from ‘fish magnet’ Gordon Parker on peg 29. Gordon had 93lb taken on the long pole with corn hook bait and this was enough to win the section. Stu Johnson had fish to 13lb in his catch, finishing in second just ahead of Jeff Reast. Honest Jim had caught enough for fourth position.

Jim’s travelling partner, Young Jarrad Smith, had a great come back this week, he battered poor Mr Ward at the next peg taking 100lb on the groundbait feeder and maggot from peg 17. Paul Parker kept up the family result with second spot from peg 14 and new member Dave West was in third. Rob Bowser finished off Mr Ward’s chip-shopping (battered both sides) getting the fourth position.

Roy was the first to weigh in the first section and put 67lb of feeder caught fish on the scales for fourth spot. Gary Miller at peg 11 had gambled on the silver fish and took man of the match with a terrific 99lb of mostly skimmers on the pole and caster, this was enough for second place. Dom Lanni was only ounces in front of Roy to claim the third spot.

On the first peg I had done enough to win the section, taking 40 carp on the long pole up the margin with corn and maggot shallow at 14m. I had really enjoyed the match and put 156lb on the scales. Gordon Priddey had another great result from the middle of pool 4 taking 118lb of big carp to the scales. Ian Saiger also had another good win from the end peg 85 on pool 5. On pool 6 Kerry Dyson took a win from the little girl’s peg 86, catching 126lb. Remarks were noted that the peg had been rested the week prior when Rob the Eel Clayton had sat on it! Pool 7 was again won from in-form peg 106, over practice pensioner Brian Envis showing the others the way with 83lb.

The section results:

Pool 1
Section 1
Peg 1 - Kev Russell - 156lb
Peg 11 - Gary Miller - 99lb
Peg 4 - Dom Lanni - 68lb
Peg 12 - Roy Marlow - 67lb
Section 2
Peg 17 - Jarrad Smith - 100lb
Peg 14 - Paul Parker - 69lb
Peg 18 - Dave West - 66lb 12oz
Peg 15 - Rob Bowser - 66lb 6oz
Section 3
Peg 29 - Gordon Parker - 93lb
Peg 27 - Stu Johnson - 69lb 12oz
Peg 24 - Jeff Reast - 69lb 4oz
Peg 30 - Jim Chessman - 56lb

Pool 4
Peg 72 - Gordon Priddey - 118lb
Peg 70 - Carl Redman - 81lb
Peg 67 - Steve Nemus - 72lb
Peg 68 - Steve Conway - 55lb

Pool 5
Peg 85 - Ian Saiger - 80lb
Peg 78 - Graham Carlisle - 72lb
Peg 76 - Paul Bates - 71lb
Peg 84 - Stu O’Donnell - 69lb

Pool 6
Peg 86 - Kerry Dyson - 126lb
Peg 89 - Gary Envis - 70lb
Peg 87 - Chris Hall - 66lb
Peg 90 - John Palmer - 65lb

Pool 7
Peg 106 - Brian Envis - 83lb
Peg 100 - Mark Davis - 74lb
Peg 104 - Pete Wooton - 50lb
Peg 109 - Bob Eaton - 50lb

And finally the Committee has received an official complaint regarding our presentation to the whinger of the month Global Traveller Gordon Priddy. All complaints are taken very seriously and this one received special attention. The complaint was from Mark Davis who thought it was unfair to give this prize to Gordon. He said, ‘every Brummie he had ever known was an habitual whinger anyway and they would win all the whinging prizes every month and know one else would stand a chance’. The committee agrees and will now take this fact into consideration for next month’s award.

Our intrepid reporter Mr Russell

Gary Miller was in hysterics after the presentation saying that the quote of the year would make front pages in all the national press and would also be headlines on all the news programmes. The quote from the Global Traveller Gordon was ‘I do not know why I have won this award because I never whinge’.

This prestigious award will be open to anyone; your committee reckons that Nasty Kind will be a major contender unless his wife turns up. It was noticed that he went very quiet when she arrived at the match. Your committee understand that Andy had phoned her complaining about fellow anglers breaking the rules, and she should turn up to sort them out. Andy’s wife thinks he does not whinge and it would be very unfair for him to win this award. This has been a noted, special thanks to John Duncan who provided this information. John also gets a mention as he will be on suicide watch with ‘Scotty’ Morgan, both these anglers are regular winners in the club and it was noted that they were both FTW (frightened to weigh-in).

Mr Ward would like to add that the fact he caught so little was due to constantly winding in so that Jarrad and even Robbie Bowser, two pegs away, could play fish in his swim. ‘The fish must have thought they were safe there’, added both Jarrad and Rob.

Russelli.

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